“Can parents have it all?” If you rolled your eyes at that question, you’re in the right place.
If you're reading this, you're probably wrestling with that annoying question, and the answer (depending on the day) is, “Yes! No! I Don’t know!” I get it.
The research and reports about parents and caregivers in the workplace are not encouraging, either.
A recent McKinsey and LeanIn study found that 43% of women with kids under 10 have thought about stepping back from their careers. But here's the thing. The antiquated "career vs. family" dilemma is a false choice.
I've seen countless colleagues, friends, and clients navigate both successfully. Does it take some thoughtful planning? Yes. Do you need to have honest (and sometimes tough) conversations? Yes.
In this article, we’ll share some practical strategies that work in the real world.
Welcome to parenthood.
If it wasn’t already, your whole life is about to live and die by some carefully-planned, color-coded calendars!
Before baby plans kick into high gear, take some time to map out where you want your career to go in the next few years.
Maria, a marketing director I worked with, told me: "Six months before we started trying for our first, I grabbed coffee with my manager and laid out my three-year career vision. I identified two major projects I wanted to own and a certification I was eyeing. Having that roadmap kept me focused and showed my team I was in it for the long haul, baby and all."
Timing matters, and leaving a lasting impression is a great way to start your “dual” career as parent and employee.
By wrapping up a few impactful projects before your leave, you'll leave an impression that carries through your leave.
The statistics are on our side here, too. BCG found that people who lead successful high-visibility projects in the year before parental leave are 27% more likely to return to the same or better position.
Those coffee chats and check-ins with mentors, sponsors, and leadership? They're gold. Don't let them slide.
My friend Holly, a finance manager with two little ones, puts it this way, "My relationship with my mentor was my career lifeline. She kept me in the loop about reorganizations during my maternity leave and went to bat for my promotion six months after I came back. Those pre-baby relationship investments paid off big time."
Beyond the work-specific updates, it’s always good to have a colleague or manager who “has your back” and looks out for your best interests.
This one seems obvious, but you'd be surprised. Depending on where you work, your parental leave policy might be non-existent, limited, or contingent on a number of factors. Beyond that, lining up your parental leave with federal or state leave can be brain-meltingly confusing.
One study found that only about half of employees fully understand their parental leave benefits.
So yeah, read that policy guide, talk to HR, and connect with colleagues who've recently taken leave. Find out the ways to make your options work for you, your family, and your company.
Like many elements of career success, a successful career hinges on open communication.
Timing this conversation can feel tricky, but there's no perfect moment – just make sure you've done your homework first.
Check out our guide on how (and when) to share that you're expecting at work.
Don't assume your manager knows you're still career-focused and desiccated to your organization. Say it explicitly! Better yet, write it in an email, too!
Folks who clearly communicate their career ambitions and associated action items before parental leave are less likely to face the parent penalty when they return.
Think of your handover plan as your professional legacy while you're out. A thorough one shows you care about the team's success even when you're not there. We have a lot of great advice on creating a transition plan that keeps everything running smoothly.
Start the conversation about your return before you leave. It gives everyone time to plan and you'll feel more at ease knowing what's waiting for you.
If possible, connect with other parents at your workplace. What worked for them when re-entering the workplace after leave? How did they set this arrangement up with management?
Let me be crystal clear: your main "job" during leave is recovering and bonding with your baby. Period.
In other words, sign out of Slack and let your OOO message do the work for you.
If it helps your peace of mind, creating light touch points can make returning less jarring. A client of ours created a plan with her manager where they kept in touch with a monthly email summary of big updates.
When the baby's napping and you've actually showered (victory!), some light professional development can help you stay connected to your professional identity. And we mean LIGHT here.
Most new parents find audio content like podcasts or audiobooks perfect for this. You can listen while walking the baby or folding that mountain of tiny laundry. If you'd prefer to listen to your favorite Bachelor podcast instead, go for it!
Boundaries aren't selfish. They're essential for all parts of new parenthood. Set boundaries before leaving. Reiterate when needed.
In a dream world, we all have understanding leaders who have experienced new parenthood firsthand. In these cases, they are flexible, helpful, and accommodating. Sounds nice, right?
In many scenarios, it's likely that other folks might not "get it."
Your time is more precious now, so focus it where you can make the biggest impact.
Michael, a consulting manager and dad of two, shared this genius move:
"After my second child, I negotiated to focus on our three largest client accounts rather than managing seven smaller ones. This cut my travel by 60% while actually increasing my revenue responsibility by 15%. It also gave more junior consultants the chance to cut their teeth on smaller clients. It was a win-win-win!"
As a new parent, you'll find that getting an impossible amount of tasks taken care of is your superpower. Cultivate a complementary superpower of delegating tasks and priorities that are less impactful.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach here. What works for your colleague might be a disaster for you.
Stay flexible. Conduct a regular check in with yourself and your family. Evaluate what works and what needs to be tweaked.
We all know bias exists.
Research from Stanford University Professor and sociologist, Shelley J. Correll shows mothers are 79% less likely to be hired and 8.2 times less likely to be promoted.
Proactively address this by highlighting your commitment during evaluations. Wherever you can boast about performance metrics or bottom line data, do it.
Know your value and don't be shy about demonstrating it.
We hinted at this one earlier, but we have another cliche for you. The whole "it takes a village" adage doesn't necessarily include nannies, house cleaners, grandparents, and childcare.
As a working parent, your village might show up as a workplace ally, a mentor, or a manager who recognizes all that you do.
Find the leaders who get it.
There might be managers who have navigated working parenthood or who have a flexible understanding of your priorities.
In short, if you can find the manager who prioritizes impact over time spent in a particular office chair, cherish them.
Remember, someday your colleagues might need the same support you do now. If you're reading this as someone who is looking to plan a family, find ways to support the parents at your organization, too.
Some teams create "parent partner" systems , where they can provide support and coverage in emergency scenarios like unexpected illness or...a midday dance recital.
If you can afford it, outsourcing household tasks is a strategic investment in your sanity and family time.
Earlier in this article, we mentioned how important it could be to have a manager who recognized output over hours worked. Parents are constantly working to prove themselves, only to be reprimanded for "sneaking out early for a baseball game."
It's easy to dole this advice out, but parents who find success in their work and their family life typically have some kind of flexible or understanding arrangement.
As many rail against RTOs for the sake of RTO, the workforce still seems frustratingly unwilling to change. However, there are organizations who work to champion and elevate parents—and they won't bat an eye if you need to step out for a midday spring concert featuring your favorite 8-year-old.
Being "always-on" isn't sustainable or necessary. Identifying and taking advantage of your peak performance times will transform your output.
The marathon approach to career building might need adjusting. Jordan, a research scientist and new parent, offered this perspective:
"I shifted from thinking about five-year jumps to focusing on six-month achievements. This kept me motivated and created a series of wins that actually accelerated my progress compared to colleagues still fixated on distant goals."
As your family grows and changes, so will your career—and vice-versa.
It's sometimes challenging to recognize when big—or even uncomfortable—changes are necessary.
However, there are no set rules when it comes to timing or opportunity. Some moms receive the promotion of their lifetime right after parental leave. Some parents might transition to a role that has increased flexibility and a less demanding schedule on order to balance their work with their growing family.
The most important part of navigating career and family transitions is keeping an open mind, listening to your heart, and asking for help when needed.
Not all workplaces walk the talk when it comes to supporting families. When job hunting, dig deep into the culture, not just the stated policies.
Let's end with perhaps the most important point: be kind to yourself.
Not everything will go according to plan, and that's completely normal. Parenthood is a wild, wonderful journey full of unexpected twists and opportunities for growth.
One client of ours took an 18-month career break before returning to become a senior VP. She reflects,
"My career hasn't been linear, and that's been its strength. The perspective I gained during that time made me more effective, more innovative, and ultimately more valuable to my organization than if I'd pushed through without the break."
At WRK/360, we know that you don't have to choose between growing your family and growing your career.
You can absolutely do both. The secret is in learning what you can, gathering information from other parents, and taking what works for you.
What's your next step going to be?